Traumat-EYE-zed...again

I have once again been traumat-EYE-zed.  Yes.  I will add the original story at the bottom of this blog--just so you can laugh your face off today.  You're welcome...

This weekend, our family went for a glorious walk in the woods.  It stopped raining for a solid 30 minutes on a Saturday and we lived it up.  (I would insert an eye roll emoji here, but it's just too soon...)  One of the coolest things about having a golden retriever after a husky is that we can let him off leash and he doesn't run to Canada looking for snow.  This was our first hike to let him loose, and he was just giddy.  He ran around in blissful chaos--but never running too far away.  This seemed like the best thing ever until it happened....He ran by me, stepped on a bush thing, and you guessed it...it popped me right in the eyeball.  Once again my sloth-like reflexes forsook (is that even a word?) me, and you guessed it.  I didn't even blink.  Pain shot through my whole face, followed by the terror only available to someone who has been through similar trauma before.  I didn't freak out.  I go into this wonderfully weird calm, but my man, he knew.  He knew what was happening.  We ran to the closest town and bought the most generic eye drops the local gas station had to offer.  I forced myself to flood my poor eye with drops, closed them, put on sunglasses and pretended it was all going to just go away.  It wasn't. 

I suffered all night.  I begged my eye to just heal itself and wake up normal.  But it didn't.  Bless my eye clinic.  The on-call doctor met me on a Sunday and confirmed (after brutally shining the blue light in my wound) my fears.  "Looks like you've got a pretty good scratch on your cornea."  When she needed to flip my eyelid back to check for any lingering residue (like crazy people did in middle school to terrify everyone they turned to) I asked if euthanizing me was a better option.  Yall....she laughed like she thought I was kidding.  

She was super sympathetic.  Apparently the scratch hurts so bad because of the insane amount of nerve endings it exposes.  As I laid in bed whining about my HORRIFIC injury, God brought to my mind the scripture where He calls us the apple of His eye.  There are a few actually, but here are a couple. 

Zechariah 2:8-9

"For this is what the Lord, Almighty says: After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you--for whoever touches you touches the apple of His eye--I will surely raise my hand against them so that their slaves will plunder them.  Then you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me"

Psalm 17:8

"Keep me as the apple of your eye, hide me in the shadow of Your wings."

I love how He explains His heart towards our pain and our protection as the apple of His eye.  I wonder if He is letting us know that He feels our pain like those raw, exposed nerve endings from my scratch.  My pain in this life, things enemies do to us--spiritual enemies or those with skin on, He is intimately aware and will never forget.  He is that close to situations that leave us feeling traumatized.  He takes it personally.  He remembers it.  He isn't a god who is distant or removed or untouchable--scripture paints a picture of the exact opposite.  We are the apple of His eye.  When we doubt if He sees--we are the apple of His eye.  When we wonder if He even cares, we are the apple of His eye.  When it seems like the bad guys win, read Zechariah again.  There is a time coming when the Glorious One will say "GO.  It's time.  Remember all the things.  Remember the things that were stolen from them.  Remember their pain.  Remember the wrong.  GO, make it right."  And He will.

1 Peter 5:10

"And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.  To Him be the power for ever and ever.  Amen"

Here's the best part. He doesn't need to blink.  Fire comes from His eyes (Revelation 19, focus verse 12).  The God who breaks cedars with His voice (Psalm 29:5).  The God who's glory thunders.  Read about His ride in Ezekiel 10, He is transported by cherubim, fierce heavenly beings who's whole bodies and crazy intersecting wheels are covered in eyes--because in all the ways, God is all seeing.  He literally doesn’t miss a single thing and He alone is a righteous judge.  I wonder if we have forgotten to sit and ponder His holiness.  Being the apple of His eye is the most wonderful thing we can be. 

For me, and my poor traumatized eye, He is already restoring it.  He created our eyes to beautifully heal themselves, quickly so we can get back to the important business of seeing.  I'm thankful that this weekend they helped me see a little more clearly just how deep His love for me goes. 

Here is my original traumat-EYE-zed story.  Bless my heart. 

Today I went to get my old lady eyes examined. Because after you turn 40, you basically now need to add a “body parts repair” plan to your *crappy* insurance.

Anyway I have only had my eyes checked three times since I was 14, for a good reason...

It was the summer before I started high school. An age that is extra forgiving and gentle. 🙄  I was getting ready to impress the boys at church league softball by curling the mess out of my bangs {a few years past the big hair trend...cause I’m always late}. I was at my grandmother’s house, watching tv. I was using her orange, 400 year old curling iron when, in a moment that still leaves me baffled, the curling iron slipped. About half a second later, I was faced with the harsh reality that I was apparently born without the reflexes that tell your eyes to blink when steaming hot metal is headed their way.

Long story short...I started high school wearing a patch—and not a cool bedazzled patch, or some edgy  pirate patch...nope. My mom didn’t really care about being extra. I started my freshman year with a taped piece of gauze covering one eye. Quickly applied like I had been wounded in war, and we really needed to get moving.

Fortunately for me I was so painfully unimpressive that I haven’t even found anyone who remembers it. 😂

When I was in college, I wound up pretty much hog tied to an exam chair and sedated when I was a lifeguard. During an unfortunate chlorine tablet-opening with a fan-blowing day, I yet again missed the opportunity to blink and wound up needing to get chlorine flushed out of them at the ER.

So today I clawed my legs trying to overcome, knowing my sweet babies were sitting there watching. But wouldn’t you know?  My freaking dang eyes kept blinking and forcing me to relive each stupid test the doctor needed to run over and over. {SERIOUSLY?!?  Now you know how to react to stimuli?!?}

And all the southern girls said:  “BLESS YOUR HEART”.

***my 7 year old came home and ate carrots of her own free will. So some good came of it.